Donald Trump is the 45th President of the United States.

I can't stop screaming; My mouth agape with abject horror. Eventually I stop and give consideration to morning coffee.

K pours a cup for me. I reach for it and remember that Donald Trump is the 45th President of the United States for the eighth time this morning. This fact does not sit well with me at all.

The coffee is dark, rich, and delicious. We recently got a french press; my home smells like coffee again. In between sips of coffee, I pause as my mind races with anxiety: Donald Trump is the 45th President of the United States. Surely this can't be true. I'm here, sitting in bed, with a passionate partner, drinking coffee they made. Fresh coffee. Delicious coffee. Hot coffee that wakes me in time.

Donald Trump is the 45th President of the United States.

The words flash in my head a million times a day.

Donald Trump is the 45th President of the United States.

Every time I remember this, my body tenses up; fight or flight kicking in, not sure what I should do.

Donald Trump is the 45th President of the United States.

We have crossed a threshold past which there is no return; for years it sat far off in the horizon. Unthinkably distant from the now where LGBT rights were expanding, black lives matter, trans lives matter, the cusp of an election where we sought to teeter away from the pit for a while longer.

Its been there. In plain sight. We've ignored it for too long and here it is, at last. In our cities. On the streets. A swastika for every femme and masc and all of the above who dare question the Status Quo of white cisheteronormativity.

Donald Trump is the 45th President of the United States.

Lunch time. Whole Foods. Same as I've done for the past week; there isn't much appeal in variety these days when

Donald Trump is the 45th President of the United States.

I'll figure something out. It'll work. This is just a regular Monday. Work to do to make rent. Except that

Donald Trump is the 45th President of the United StaI need to do something, anything, anything at all; There is a thing to be done and it must be done though I'm not sure what that thing isjustyetohgoshmaybeIneed to just pick something already damnit.

I gotta get ready to bail. I know that the State is coming for me. I don't fit that mold. I can't be a cis heteronormative male because I'm none of those things and never can be made to perform. I am terrified, so I plan an escape route. I talk with friends. I plan. Courses and contingencies put together as the days go on. 66 days until this man formally gains his power. I make sure I can get out of here when it comes down to it. Cycle my keys. Encrypt external memories. I speak softly to myself, every day: Be. Prepared.

Then I organize.

Donald Trump is the 45th President of the United States.

And I'm going to act like it.